1. Job Search Jargon

    COMPETITIVE SALARY:
    We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

    FLEXIBLE HOURS:
    Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.

    GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
    Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want you to do.

    ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:
    You whine, you’re fired.

    CAREER-MINDED:
    We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.

    SELF-MOTIVATED:
    Management won’t answer questions

    SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
    Some time each night and some time each weekend

    DUTIES WILL VARY:
    Anyone in the office can boss you around.

    COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:
    We have a lot of turnover.

    SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:
    We’re not going to supply you with leads; there’s no base salary; you’ll wait 30 days for your first commission cheque.

    CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
    We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

    SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:
    If we’re in trouble, you’ll go on TV and get us out of it.

    SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:
    You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.

    PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
    You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

    1 year ago  /  Notes